The world needs queer
Recently the New York Times ran an opinion piece by a well-known gay theologian. The piece insisted that he is “gay, not queer.” He is one of the normal gays, those who just want a nice, quiet marriage. He is not interested in challenging norms or questioning society. He’s just like everyone else. You’d like him if you just got to know him.
He talks about how “queer” is a slur, how it isn’t a term he likes. And that makes sense — “queer” is by nature outside the norm, and he sees that as bad. “Queer” is a slur to him not only because of the history of the word, but also because of the present. He sees “queer” as that which threatens his own gay rights.
There are many who exist in the world and are told by others they are too much — they are too flamboyant, too colorful, too queer. And somehow that is meant to be a bad thing. A form of dress, a mannerism, a vibrancy that makes people uncomfortable and therefore it must be wrong. But must it really?
I am always amazed at how people can look at the same thing and have polar opposite reactions. A visibly queer person walks by. Some immediately see a person who is deviant, vile — I see beauty, freedom. . . and safety. That wasn’t always the case.
I was socialized by my surroundings to question those who looked different. I also wondered, “couldn’t they just tone it down? They know how people will react — they must be doing this intentionally to start a conflict.” Yet the easiest answer is that they are dressing for the same reason I do — to feel good, comfortable in their own skin, experience gender euphoria (to be fair, I have also been accused of using clothing choices as a weapon). The discomfort is the same mechanism in socialized racism. We’ve been told what the boxes are. Things outside those boxes are labeled “wrong.” But the problem isn’t the people, but the boxes. And just like all of the other things we need to unlearn, this is an area where it is essential for us to sit with the discomfort and examine what in us needs to change.
Our world needs queer. The Bible is full of queer. I mean seriously, have you seen the prophets? They wear weird things (or nothing at all), eat weird things, do weird things. They upset every norm there is. Jesus is decidedly queer, always twisting the understanding of the laws to something that gives life to those who need it. The Holy Spirit? Does it get queerer than tongues of fire and rushing wind, messing with languages and understanding? There is a reason the good, upstanding people in the crowd thought the disciples must be drunk.
Queerness is life-giving! It disrupts us from the status quo and shows us just how limiting and deadly it is. Queerness doesn’t push on norms for the sake of being contrarian, but because norms by nature leave people out. When you don’t examine them, they cause harm.
When our theology doesn’t make room for queer, it doesn’t make room for the Divine. It doesn’t leave room to see the new thing that God is always doing in our midst.
I am joyfully queer. Queerness is a blessing (to quote the amazing Billie Hoard). Queerness is sacred. Queerness is holy.
May we learn to see it as such.
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